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June 27, 2007

Drink more water!

Hi Everyone! I know it's been forever since I made a real post but my life has been so uninteresting.

Yesterday though I decided that I need to start posting more often because well, I could tell that I was starting up again with my negative thinking.

I was in the car and while I was driving to work I saw a sign that said two left lanes closed ahead due to an accident. Of course my first thought was, omg I'm going to be late for work. Then panic set in. Then I started thinking about how the airbag in my car would kill me because I'm so short. And of course I obsessed about that. I thought about calling my mom (at 7 AM) to find out how I should put the steering wheel so that when the airbag pops out I don't get decapitated.

Thankfully I didn't call her at 7 AM. I tried to think about other things but this airbag thing really stuck with me, which is not normal for me. So I figure I need to start writing about things and work out why my brain is currently functioning the way it is.

Click the link to read more about what's going on.

So a couple of months ago I tried to go on a diet and exercise more but my laziness got the better of me. I finally have come to terms with the fact that I do not cook. I will not cook. So if that is the case I need to buy more healthy frozen meals so that when I get hungry at night I don't break down and order pizza or go out to get fast food.

I went to the grocery store and started to purchase meals for lunch and dinner. I am using one brand of frozen meals for lunch and another for dinner. This is to try to psych myself thinking that I'm treating myself for dinner, so I'll eat actually eat the frozen meal and not go out.

I've been doing pretty good so far, granted it's only been two days:

Day 1

Total Calories Consumed: 820 c
Total Fat Consumed: 17.5 g
Total Carbs Consumed: 135 g

Day 2

Total Calories Consumed: 740 c
Total Fat Consumed: 15 g
Total Carbs Consumed: 112 g

Now as a former health store employee I do not recommend that anyone go under 1200 calories for their total consumption ever. The reason is your body needs at least 1200 to function. If you eat less than that than your body thinks that is starving and will start to horde calories instead of burn them.

That being said, I do not know how people with anorexia stay so skinny. I've been trying to read about but alas I cannot come up with any good explanation.

Anyway since I'm consuming so many frozen meals I need to up my water intake because these meals are so high in sodium. This is causing some water retention that can lead to a false weight. Plus it makes my skin prickly.

So that's it for now folks. I have to go get ready for work. I'll come back later and post more than.

TTYL!

Laterz!

This entry has been tagged: challenge, nmht

Laney broke down at June 27, 2007 5:52 AM

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The happenings of a survivor...

My name is Laney Marie, well that's my nick name anyway and it's the name that I choose to go by. Due to the nature of this weblog I wish to maintain some anonymity. Also this description is to serve as a warning to parents of younger children. So please pay attention:

When I was two (2) years old I was sexually abused. The situation of course was well handled by Child Protective Services and my parents. When I was seventeen (17) years old I fell victim to what they call an acquaintance rape, meaning that I was raped be someone who I knew.

This weblog will be a record of my journey through recover. At times some of the entries well be dark and will discuss the events around both incidents. Other times this will merely be a record of things that have happened to me throughout my day.

I have chosen to publish this weblog to help others out there who have gone through the same thing. Also to help parents understand what their children are going through.

Feelings do not make sense, they are made out of gray area, so please while you try to apply logic to I have gone through and what I am going through keep that in mind.

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